“Johnbull you be fool oh, you no sabi anything, just to send picture since 30mins ago, you just dey shake like fish, dey press wetin you no know for my phone, mbok gimme my phone e don do, just dey waste my battery,(hisses) “
Akpan my Landlord’s house boy grabs his phone and begins to dial a number eyeing Johnbull our gateman, when the person picks the call, his expression changes, a grin breaking across his hard facial features; “ Ello, Ekaette baby mbok, you don see the pics wey I send, this Johnbull na foolish boy, e just dey waste time since (eyes Johnbull again)”. I guess Ekaette had not seen the picture yet because he cuts the call but not before assuring her that she would soon get it. Akpan and Johnbull, continue the struggle of sending Akpan’s picture to his babe, while I am sitting here my stomach grumbling, and wondering when my Uncle will get home. He was stuck in traffic again and I was locked out hence why I was witnessing Akpan and Johnbull’s dilemma.
After about 30 minutes of insulting each other and almost clawing each other’s eyes out, Akpan and Johnbull walk over to where I am sitting the following conversation ensues;
Akpan (shyly): Aunty mbok, you fit help me? I wan send my pics to my gehfrend wey dey Calabar but e no dey go. She say she wan see wether I don dey fat true true like I dey always tell am,She think say na lie i dey lie for am.
Me: Have u tried using Whatsapp or BBM?
Johnbull: No oh, him phone no be BB (blackberry) oh and he no get watsup.
Akpan: sharrap for dia, foolish boy, Aunty mbok no mind am, u fit help me send am?
Me: If you don’t have bbm or whatsapp, what have you been trying to use since?
Akpan and Johnbull (with an amused look like I had lost it): Na Bluetooth na.