images” You are just an idiot, a good for nothing, you are just useless and worthless, is it any wonder your Mother came to dump you with me? She can’t handle you anymore, before you kill me, let me tell you, i will kill you with my bare hands, oloriburuku omo (unfortunate child)”.
My neighbor was it at again, shouting and beating the living daylight out of her 10 year old nephew, it was an unending circle of suffering that began last year when the boy’s Mother brought from Lagos to stay with her sister here in Abuja. The Mother was worried he was going to become a street urchin (an agbero, tout or gangster) or end up like his dead beat Father who was not dead or absent but grossly irresponsible. She wanted a better life and education for her son Tade and was even willing to pay for it that was why she brought him to the city of Abuja to live with her sister Flora who is my neighbor.
Tade’s parents got married when he was 5 years old, his Father had wanted to marry his Mother but everyone especially his Mother’s family was against the union. His Father’s family had even asked her if she was sure she wanted to marry him as he was an irresponsible fellow but she was firm in her decision to marry him. Flora had tried to talk some sense into her, telling her marriage was a lifetime decision that could affect her life and children ultimately but Tade’s Mother said she was ready to bear all the consequences that the marriage would bring, at 27, she said time wasn’t on her side, all her mates were already married with children. Because no one was in support of their union, they thought they would force their hand by getting pregnant but things got worse and the marriage still didn’t happen till 5 years later after Tade was born. Fast forward another 5 years, Tade is 10years, has 3 siblings, they live in a slum and their way of life as a family is terrible and poor with his Mother as the breadwinner and his Father constantly drunk, wandering the streets or gone for weeks. Tade had to learn to fend for himself when his Mother was at the market with his siblings, no daddy and no food to eat hence he took to the streets and the streets sure took to him as well.
I know Tade’s story so well because My neighbour Flora constantly screams it all to us whilst beating Tade for breaking something or failing another test or exam.  When anyone tries to intervene on Tade’s behalf, she claims she’s being hard on him because she doesn’t want him to end up like his Father, she also claims in her weird reasoning that if it wasn’t for his birth maybe her sister would never have married his Father so in a way, she blames him for their marriage as well.
The choice of who to marry is not selfishly yours alone, it will ultimately affect your children. So many children are paying for the mistakes and sins of their parents, they are fighting a war they know nothing about, yet fight they must. If you cannot see in your boyfriend or girlfriend qualities you want to see in your children, please let them go, it is not just about fairy tales and a wild wind romance but also about the lives and future of the little ones you would both be responsible for.


About jesuseun

I AM A BREATHTAKING REFLECTION OF GOD'S LOVE. To contact me, send a mail to link2seun@yahoo.com
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