Growing up, it was drilled into us how imperative it was for us to respect tradition and our elders. An older person sees it as their duty to advice you on anything any time. When you announce you are getting married, this is when it gets better, with grim looks and a twinge of danger in their voice, the advises begin to pour forth, you don’t need to ask or go looking for it. They would usually start with “my son” ,”my daughter” or “my dear”, this might not mean you are that dear to them, it’s an inflection to ensure you understand the gravity of what you are about to do and the seriousness of the advice you are about to receive. As much as advises are good and could help you avoid certain pitfalls, you have to recognize that every individual and their relationship are peculiar and so is yours, so knowing what advice to take or ditch is key.
As much as possible I would like to reiterate that this is a fun post.
- Dress like a married woman: – This rule usually applies to the woman, you are told to ditch all your jeans and dresses and start wearing “iro and bubo” to look like a “respectable married woman” in the society, don’t wear certain hairstyles or makeup. ( Yeah someone actually told me this)
- Have children immediately: – This is one commandment everybody including your own parents expects you to obey immediately; an Aunt that I barely know called me during my honeymoon to tell me this. Not that they would help with finances or care of the children.
- Never argue of fight your husband: – Basically be a doormat, say yes to his every command, whims and caprices, don’t say nothing, when he offends you, just pray about it.
- Don’t tell your wife everything: – Well on this I would say, good luck!!!
- The kitchen is the woman’s place: – And the bedroom is the man’s place, really?!
- Your in-laws come first: – Someone told a friend of mine on her wedding day that her husband’s siblings come first before her, the woman was not even a family member.
- Have a joint account: – Ehm, why don’t you just do what works for you and your spouse.
- What happens in your home stays there: – I agree, but not when your life and sanity is at stake.
- You should make more money than your wife: – I would just leave this here.
- Always have a hot meal waiting for him, when he comes back from work: – Even if he always gets home before you or you both live in Lagos and he works on the mainland while you work on the island.
These are a few advises I was given and some I gathered from friends. Please share with us, some weird or bad marriage advises you were given, thank you.